Globe Corner Blogs

Smooth mint julep in one hand, heady cigar in the other, giant red hat on my head – there’s really only one place I could be: The Kentucky Derby. Let’s be honest, this get-up anywhere else would only earn me looks of derision, confusion, and perhaps outright outrage. But at the Derby the only looks were those that said, “My, she’s wearing a conservative outfit.” Perhaps more than the races themselves, my attention was drawn to the people around me. People-watching was as much a sport at Churchill Downs as horse racing.

All of the women – ALL of the women – at the races sported spectacular hats, as big or bigger and brighter than mine. Unfortunately, the rainy weather was conspiring to flatten all the feathers and bows. Did you know they make plastic bags in exactly the right size for Derby hats? My heels sunk into the mud, but from beneath my plastic-encased hat the rain sounded like drops on a car roof.

Oh, and the horses. We took a tour down into the paddock area where they parade the horses around before their race. The chatter stopped. All we could do was shoot each other glances that said “Dear God, did you see all those muscles?” One is supposed to use this opportunity of seeing the horses to help place their bets, but we just blinked stupidly at the magnificent animals.

Because the weather was rather disgusting for a good number of the races, I spent a large amount of time in the concessions area, people-watching some more and laughing at the thought of finding something vegetarian there. Juleps for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I then tried my best not to burn my neighbors with the cigar in line at the betting booth: $20 on 15 to win. I practiced the lingo beforehand.

But the sun broke through just in time for the 11th race – the Derby. I whipped off my hat protector and dashed back to our box, feet from the track and just a bit down the way from the finish line. Gentle strains of music drifted through the air – they play the National Anthem before the Derby? Well, kind of: My Old Kentucky Home. All the ladies is their fancy garb kicked off their heels and climbed up on the chairs to better see the race. They say it’s the fastest two minutes in sports, and I’d have to agree that it didn’t seem like two minutes at all. All the screaming and jumping was through in a matter of seconds and our heads whipped around as the horses flew past, slowing their gait.

Discreetly Mine, my pick despite his 1-30 odds, came in 13th. Still, I couldn’t be disappointed. Really, could anyone wearing this hat ever be disappointed?

Read more: Kentucky, People Watching, South US, The Kentucky Derby, Travel


Llalan specializes in all things Ohio, but has funny stories from all over the US and Canada, plus a few snort-inducing ones from Thailand. And not only does she read books from around the world, she also samples beers in as many languages as possible. Favorite style: the multi-national American Double IPA.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS